# 11

Just got back from flight.

Was supposed to go to xmas island today but we didnt quite make it there.
Plane turned back to spore just as we were at the top of descent into xmas island, 1/2 hr before touchdown, due to a hydraulic system failure.

As we flew back to spore and across the dense indonesian jungles, i couldnt help but think morbidly about the possibility of a crash. Its my nature. I am over-paranoid, over-imaginative and very quick to think of the worst.

I thought of my family and friends, and was a little glad that at least i had a good lunch with my mom this afternoon before coming to work, and messaged chris on my way to work and told him that he makes me happy.

I thought of how it will be when my loved ones receive news of my death and realised that chris probably wont know about it till hours later since he went to jb. I wondered if the pain of my death will be etched into the heart of my loved ones and if they would ever get over it. I thought about the crew missing out on the fat bonus that awaits us in our bank accounts today, 7th july, and suddenly realised i didnt make any nomination for my cpf and didnt make a will to allocate the little money i have. Seems rather silly now that i'm penning it down but those were my precise thoughts.

We touched down safely and fire trucks rushed to the aircraft in anticipation for any fire that might break out.

The passengers applauded. I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the gods and captain norman for bringing us back safely.

They say live each day like its your last.
I 'feel' that quote more than ever after this incident.

Most of the time, we forget that each day is a gift, and go about our lives being unhappy about things we cant control or staying angry with people or things longer than we should. We get too caught up in our little mundane life and miss out on the joys of living. Our bored, glazed-over eyes fail to notice the blueness of the mid-afternoon sky, the gentle breeze toying with our hair as we walk down the street and the cute dimples in the cheeks of the smiling toddler perched on the mrt seat, peering inquisitively out of the big big windows.

From this day on, I shall try my best to keep an open mind and try to enjoy living, rather than lament about making a living. And in Anthony Bourdain's words ( i just caught the paris episode of his "no reservations" series again last night and its still so inspiring) , "Take the time off and eat a ham sandwich, i mean, really eat a ham sandwich."

Clear your mind and truly enjoy life for what it is worth, coz for all u know, u might not live to see another day.